As the New Year approaches, it's common to think about setting some resolutions and the heavily flaunted "New Year, New Me" mindset is everywhere on social media. But... for those of us experiencing grief, this time of year can be especially challenging. The pressure to set lofty resolutions can feel overwhelming, (and let's be honest, many of these resolutions are forgotten by February anyway). So, this year, Instead of setting ourselves up for disappointment, let's focus on something more achievable and beneficial: SMART goals.
Why SMART Goals?
SMART goals are specific, measurable, achievable, relevant, and timely. They provide a clear roadmap, making it easier to stay on track and feel a sense of accomplishment. For those grieving, setting SMART goals can be a way to create a sense of purpose and direction amidst the chaos of loss.
Setting SMART Goals in Grief
Specific: Instead of vague resolutions like " in 2025 I will be happier" or "move on," set specific goals. For example, "I will spend 30 minutes each day on self-care activities."
Measurable: To be effective, ensure your goals have measurable outcomes. "Journal three times a week" or "Call a friend or family member once a week to talk" are goals you can track.
Achievable: Grief is exhausting, messy business, both emotionally and physically. Set goals that are realistic given your current situation. Instead of "exercise every day," aim for "take a 15-minute walk three times a week."
Relevant: Choose goals that are meaningful to your healing process. This might include "Attend a grief support group once a month" or "Practice mindfulness meditation for 10 minutes daily."
Timely: Give yourself a timeframe to achieve your goals. This helps maintain focus and motivation. For example, "By the end of January, I will have read one book on grief and healing."
Examples of SMART Goals for the New Year
Specific: I will write in my gratitude journal every night before bed.
Measurable: I will call my grief coach once a week for the next three months.
Achievable: I will join a local yoga class and attend twice a week.
Relevant: I will create a memory book for my loved one, dedicating one hour each Sunday to this project.
Timely: I will finish reorganizing all of the closets by the end of February.
Make sense?
Tips for Success
Start Small: Begin with one or two goals to avoid feeling overwhelmed. Grief is overwhelming enough, you don't want to add to your stress.
Stay Flexible: Grief is unpredictable. It's okay to adjust your goals as needed. Nothing is written in stone and remember...we are aiming for progress, not perfection.
Celebrate Milestones: Acknowledge and celebrate your progress, no matter how small.
Seek Support: Share your goals with a grief coach, a friend, or support group (or all three!) to stay accountable and receive encouragement.
This New Year, skip the typical resolutions and focus on setting SMART goals that support your grief journey. By doing so, you'll create a path toward healing that is both practical and compassionate. Remember, it's not about becoming a "new you," but about finding ways to honor your loved one and nurture your well-being.
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