Valentine’s Day can be one of the hardest days to face after losing a loved one. Everywhere you turn, there are reminders of love, togetherness, and romance—things that may now feel like a distant memory. Whether you’ve lost a spouse, partner, or someone else who held a special place in your heart, this day can bring up a lot of emotions. But grief and love go hand in hand. Instead of pushing away the pain, what if we embraced love in a different way?
I'll try to explain what that might look like.
A Different Perspective on Love
Love doesn’t disappear when someone is gone. It transforms. The love you shared with your person still exists, even if they are no longer physically present. Valentine’s Day can be a time to honor that love in a way that feels right for you.
Instead of focusing on what’s missing, try shifting the perspective to what remains. The memories, the laughter, the deep connection—they are all still part of you.
Ways to Honor Love and Memories
If Valentine’s Day feels overwhelming, here are a few gentle ways to navigate the day while honoring your grief and love:
Write a Love Letter – Express your feelings in a letter to your loved one. Share memories, talk about your day, or say the things you didn’t get to say. It can be a healing exercise to put your love into words. If you are not accustomed to sharing your thoughts on paper, this can feel a bit intimidating at first. I urge my clients to just write anything that comes to mind, the goal is to get the words on paper, don't strive for correct grammar and spelling. Remember, "Done" will always be better than "perfect".
Do Something in Their Honor – Light a candle, visit their favorite spot, cook their favorite meal, or donate to a cause they cared about. Small acts of remembrance can bring comfort and connection to your tender, grieving heart.
Surround Yourself with Support – If being alone feels too heavy, consider spending time with people who uplift you, This could be family, friends, or even a support group that understands what you’re going through. I would like to encourage you to protect your peace and avoid "energy vampires" - people, places, and situations that drain your energy and leave you feeling depleted.
Embrace Self-Love – Love isn’t just about romantic relationships; it’s also about self-compassion. Take the day to treat yourself with kindness—whether it’s a long bath, a walk in nature, a service at the salon, or simply resting without guilt. We live in a culture that wears "busyness" like a badge of honor. Please remember to honor your feelings and give yourself permission to just pause.
Create a New Tradition – If traditional Valentine’s Day celebrations feel too painful, consider creating a new way to honor love. This could be a day of gratitude, reflection, or even dedicating time to a hobby that brings you joy. One of my clients created a new tradition by passing out Valentine's Day cards at a local women's shelter, it uplifted her spirits so much that she now regularly volunteers and gives her time and talents to helping women learn skills to create a better life for themselves and their children. What started out as a new tradition has turned into her calling. This is a perfect illustration of what "finding the most good from your grief" means!
Your Grief Is Valid
Grief doesn’t have an expiration date, and it doesn’t follow a set of rules. However you feel on Valentine’s Day—whether it’s sadness, longing, nostalgia, or even moments of peace—it’s all okay. There’s no right or wrong way to navigate this day.
Remember, grief is simply love with nowhere to go. But you can give that love a place—through memories, through honoring, and most importantly, through continuing to live in a way that carries their love forward.
If Valentine’s Day feels especially tough, I invite you to remind yourself: You are not alone. Your love still matters. And your memories are a beautiful testament to a bond that will never truly fade.
Sending you love and comfort today and always.

コメント